Time Flies

I had no idea it had been so long since I posted here, and I am embarrassed to admit that. But there have been some time-consuming events, and I let the distractions take over.

First and foremost, we are all fine. Everything’s good. No one is ill, no one is injured, and while life has been hectic, we are fine.

So, where have I been? (Thanks for asking, Nancy. Sorry it’s been so long!)

Shortly after my last post, about the homeward leg of our cross-country trip last fall, we got a little bit of wanderlust and decided to drive down to California and visit our son for his birthday - the son who, we found out when we called with our idea, had just scheduled a Vegas trip for said birthday. The trip went from a long weekend to California and back, to a couple weeks with a side trip to Las Vegas for several days, and some business developments that soon took over my life.

The weather was fantastic!

I love my son, but I made him buy his own birthday present!

While in Las Vegas our friends there talked with me about some issues they were facing with the company they own here in town. They wanted to make some changes and asked if I was willing to come aboard part-time to help with the transitions. When people you care about ask for help, you say yes. I thought it might be a few weeks of a couple hours here and there, and maybe setting up some procedures for the things they wanted to institute.

You can guess what comes next …

The details of the changes are not mine to share, but the upshot is that I am working 30+ hours a week, having a blast and learning a lot of new stuff as well as applying the things I already knew to a new company.

Oh, and I agreed to act as a facilitator for a workshop in Las Vegas the first week of August. And to edit an anthology of short cozy mysteries.

So that’s where I am.

Busy, loving the work, walking to and from work every day because the office is only about half a mile away, and generally enjoying my summer. The walking had proven beneficial for both my physical health (down a few pounds!) and mental health. Getting out for a quick walk in the good weather really helps my outlook.

From my walk home a couple days ago. I crossed the street, not wanting to disturb her dinner, but she was still keeping an eye on me! This was taken less than a block from home.

I’m only in it for the cookies, you understand. But they don’t have Nutter Butters any more, and this was the only time I got them!

Last week I was finally able to donate blood again, after being deferred several times for low hemoglobin.

I also was the guest of a local book club who had selected one of my mystery novels as their book this month. It was delightful, their questions were thoughtful and the evening was thoroughly enjoyable.

The kids are coming for a visit later this week, which gave us the impetus to clear out the detritus that had accumulated in the guest room and get it ready for them as well as for the house-sitter who will come while we are in Las Vegas. Bonus: the revised space will make a lovely, quiet reading space when our company is gone.

Things accumulate. We made some space, put in a new rug, and hauled the bed down from the attic.No, that’s not laundry, it’s a basket with clean linens to go on the bed. But wait …

We were still sorting papers when I took this, but it had already come a long way. And all those messy piles and boxes are gone now!

One last thing - we are starting our Las Vegas visit with a celebration the night before the workshop starts - Sunday, the 4th of August will be our 40th wedding anniversary.

I think we must be doing something right.

I hope you are all well, living your best lives and creating what brings you joy!

Road Report, Day 8

Saturday, September 16

Somehow this post was still in draft. It’s out of order but I think I should still post it. Consider it another of my Time Lord moments.

Today was a driving day, around 400 miles, and not a lot else. The driving was pretty smooth, we didn't do a lot of stopping, so there isn't a lot to talk about - but there were a couple things...

Steve had breakfast from our leftover fish from last night - there was that much food! He zapped it in the microwave, and declared it good. We packed up and hauled our stuff out to the car, which is when it got interesting.

There was a moment of panic when we tried to drain the cooler. Our zip-lock bags with our various pills were in the cooler to keep them from over-heating, and when we opened the cooler one of the zip-locks had water in it - with a pillbox full of a week's meds AND all the bottles with the rest of my meds. Steve's, fortunately, were in other bags.

I tore everything out of the cooler, emptied the bag, and checked that none of the other bags had been damaged. Nope, no other damage, and when I checked the one bag all the pill bottles were fine even though there was water in the bag. Kudos to the people making pill bottles water-tight! I haven't looked at the pills in the box, but I'm pretty sure I lost a week's worth of pills. I still have plenty of meds though, and as trouble goes, this was pretty minor.

We were only about 50 miles from Oklahoma City, but we had more excitement almost immediately. Just a few miles down the road , just as traffic narrowed to one lane for construction, we came to a dead stop before starting to creep forward very slowly.

This is where technology once again made our lives easier. Remember the "old days" when a backup meant sitting in traffic and wondering how long you'd be stuck? Thanks to Google Maps (and similar applications) we were able to see that there was a "crash on I40" and that the backup was just a few miles and then cleared out.

We were stuck, true, but we knew it wasn't forever, and that it did clear up ahead of us. Reassured, we were able to relax a little. Yes, it took about half an hour, but it wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking as it used to be.

We eventually reached the crash site, where a large tractor-trailer rig was on its side on the shoulder of the westbound lanes, all the way across the divided highway from us. Still, the combination of "lookie lous" and a one-lane road through the construction zone had backed up traffic for several miles.

Once free of the traffic we drove on into Oklahoma City, and made a stop at the Owl Court on West Britton Road. I have written about this before, when we made this trip in 2021, so I won't repeat the story, but we found the place still standing, and got some current pictures.

Owl Court still stands! If you follow the link above, there's the whole story of why this place is significant.

There was another bright spot this afternoon - the presence of Dutch Bros in Oklahoma. I was pleased!

I did a good deal of the driving this afternoon, so there aren't many pictures from the road, but a good deal of the scenery was the same: surprisingly green and beautiful. I knew from our last trip that Arkansas and Oklahoma had a lot of trees, and a lot of green. Even more so this time, as it has clearly been raining over this part of the world, even if we have managed to miss driving in it.

Typical of what we saw on the road today, except that in Arkansas the trees were much thicker.

We grabbed a sandwich about 5, just short of the Arkansas border, then continued on I-40 through Little Rock. We stopped tonight in Lonoke, Arkansas, about 25 miles east of Little Rock.

Today's listening:

We started with the end of How Did This Get Made, about The Secret with David Duchovny. I still don't want to see this movie;

We followed that with another architecture podcast, this one from Creative Culture with Steve Ramsey. His guest was Stewart Hicks, and they discussed how building design tells a story;

We finished with a Fresh Air episode about the influence of China on Hollywood productions, and the financial cudgel the Chinese government uses to enforce their ideas.

In creative news today there was a press release from Bill Willingham (posted on Substack) that details his decision to release his series Fables into the public domain. It's a developing story, and there will be, I am sure, much drama to come. We read the initial release, and the Cory Doctorow response. There is also a response from DC, which I have not had time to read yet, but I am told that DC - predictably - disputes Willingham's claim. This is going to get interesting!

That's it for tonight. Lots of driving, but not too many pictures. Tomorrow will be more of Arkansas, then Tennessee and across the Mississippi at Memphis, across the corner of Mississippi and through Tupelo, on to Birmingham - our projected stop for tomorrow night.

And it looks like I will get this up before the wee hours of the morning. Hooray!

Managing Change

We ended up staying in Alabama four weeks, a bit longer than expected. While we didn’t get nearly as much done as we hoped to do, we did get a lot out of the visit. 

We went with the basic plan of trying to get Steve’s mom into a more sustainable situation and getting a better understanding of what we were facing in the way of belongings that would need to be sorted and evaluated. We knew Mott (Steve’s mom) wanted to stay in her own home, and with Tim (Steve’s brother) just a quarter-mile down the road that seemed at least possible - though it puts a heavy load on Tim.

We left with a few basic repairs done, a better understanding of what would need to be done eventually, and a much clearer picture of the task ahead of us. Some of it may not be pretty, but at least we can see what is ahead.

I think the biggest lesson we brought home, though, is acceptance.

I am the type of person who will examine a problem and then want to do something. And while I have enough distance from the physical items - house, shops, cars, and contents - to be able to dig in, for Mott and Tim - and to a lesser extent Steve - this is their life, the place where they have lived for decades. Mott and Jim (my late father-in-law) built that house when they were first married. Through all the moves, all the out-of-state work assignments, all of Jim’s overseas postings, this is the place they held onto and came back to, the place they chose to live their life together, for nearly 70 years. It’s where the boys grew up, went to school, where Tim returned after college and made his home.

They are not ready for any of that to change. They are not ready for the shops to be emptied, or the contents to find new homes. For them it is too soon.

I had to come to terms with the plain fact that I couldn’t step in and fix everything; that, in fact, things don’t necessarily need to be fixed. The family is not in any physical or financial danger, they are where they are in their emotional journeys, and it simply isn’t my place to push them beyond what they are comfortable with - even when I am utterly convinced that I know best. (Feel free to roll your eyes at this one, my husband certainly does!) I have been a part of the family for 40 years, but I was never a part of the family home, and without that attachment this isn’t my business - unless or until I am asked for my help. 

One big upside to acceptance, however, is that I can put away the uncertainty and distraction of the last several months and re-focus my attention and energy on my own life. Especially my creative life.

For most of the last year, as I settled into the full retirement that had eluded me for more than two years, I have been adrift. Sure, there was a lot going on with the family, and the emotional upheaval of losing two much-loved family members within weeks of each other, but was that enough to explain what was going on with me, enough to cause the kind of malaise that seemed to have overtaken me?

I may have discovered one of the downsides of having “all the time in the world,” as I talked so blithely about in the early days of this column. I simply can’t seem to stay focused on anything for more than a short while. I am able to take on an afternoon of knitting, or creating beaded jewelry, or a day of baking with a friend, but I can’t keep myself on track with a project that spans weeks or months. Like writing the next book in my series.

I don’t know what the answer to this dilemma is. Worse, something deep in my psyche - hidden even from me - makes me feel guilt and shame for not solving the problem. For not working hard enough to find the answer and fix the situation. For not being able to find a solution and implement it.

A lot of this goes back to another topic from the early days of this column: being the smartest guy in the room. I should be able to fix this. I should have an answer. That’s what I do - I fix things. 

So why can’t I fix me?

I have to admit, I am out of my depth. 

But maybe there is the kernel of an answer in the lesson I brought home from Alabama. 

Maybe I need to accept that I can’t fix this immediately; that maybe I am not ready to accept what a major change this really is. After all, the first two-plus years of my retirement didn’t really happen. I un-retired twice in that time, so I really shouldn’t expect the third time - even when it actually “took” this time - should go smoothly. 

I suspect there is still some little voice inside telling me this is just temporary, that something else will happen to unsettle my new status quo, so I might as well just wait for the next interruption rather than embrace the changes?

I will need some time to adjust my attitude, to accept that changes need to be made, and to trust that they will be changes for good - both as a measure of outcome and duration.

Homeward Bound

Homeward Bound

Monday, October 16 - Wednesday October 18

Our first day on the road home we drove through the Florida Panhandle and along Perdido Bay on our way to a visit with fellow creative Buddy Finethy. We had intended to make a short stop to see Buddy's newest renovation project, and say hello. But when creative types assemble things can get out of hand quickly.

It was several hours before we headed for our Monday night destination in Biloxi, filled with far-ranging conversation about creativity, and the creative life in general. I'll have more to say about this in a later post, but the visit was a real boost!

This was my first encounter with Buc-ee's. Mind-blowing! It's like a gigantic truck stop, convenience store, food court, bakery, department store, and liquor store all rolled into one. Oh, and they also have BBQ grills and tools, and outdoor furniture. And did I mention the fudge? I kind of regret that I found out about that part!

We arrived in Biloxi after dark, intending to eat at a restaurant in the hotel, which the website told us was open until 10. We grabbed out suitcases, hauled them to the room, cleaned up and headed down to eat - only to find them closing down at 8! It was the second time this trip that we ran into this problem with Bubba Gump's Shrimp Company - you can bet there won't be a third.

Fortunately for us, the Internet can be your friend, and it didn't fail us this time. We found a small place off the beaten path, a converted mid-century gas station, with the cutesy name of The Fillin' Station, lots of good reviews, and open until 10 (for real this time).

It lived up to its name, providing tasty, tasty red beans and rice, and an oyster po'boy  Steve says was delicious. If I'm ever in Biloxi again I won't even try Bubba Gump's, but I'll head straight for The Fillin' Station.

Those of you who have read Murder Hooks a Mermaid will understand why I was interested in this place across from The Filling Station. Sadly, there didn't seem to be anyone in the tank when we were there, but I will hold out hope for another time!

Bridge across Biloxi Bay

View of Biloxi Bay from our hotel room

We left Biloxi the next morning on our way to Lafayette, Louisiana, and a visit with another friend. I worked for many years with Rene at the Inn. He bounced back and forth between Oregon and Louisiana, but finally settled back in New Orleans a few years ago. We didn't dare set up anything too far in advance, because every time we have in the past some catastrophe has intervened - last time it was the horrible early summer storms that chased us north, though the worst by far was when Hurricane Katrina landed just two days before we were due to fly in.

This day he was working in Lafayette, miles away from New Orleans, and we set a place and time just a few hours ahead - the weather didn't have time to sabotage our dinner. Yay!

There was another reason to visit Lafayette. My brother-in-law did his MBA at the university there, and he and his parents lived for several years in the nearby small town of Breaux Bridge.

We skirted around the traffic of New Orleans by staying north, and crossed the Mississippi at Baton Rouge. I realized at this point that we had crossed the Mississippi four times now, and I had been driving three of those. That and $5 will get me a cup of coffee (just not in the South after 10 am - my last latte had been at Dutch Bros in Oklahoma - even Starbucks are few and far between).

Fields of sugar cane along the roads of southern Louisiana. After spending the night in Lafayette we backtracked slightly to do some sightseeing (and looking up the folks' old place) in Cajun country on the east side of Lafayette.

The Evangeline Oak, St Martinville

The signs are bi-lingual, French and English, in the park (which is twinned with a Canadian historic site), in honor of the French-Canadian heritage of the Cajuns. It's a complicated history.

Evangeline Oak Park is located along the Bayou Teche in St Martinville. It's a beautiful place, in a gorgeous tiny town. It wasn't our first time there, and I wish we'd had more time to visit the museums and just sit and enjoy the perfect weather and the beauty of the surroundings.

The building pictured is now a B&B, but in its 200-year history it has been many other things. There's a story about our first visit to St Martinville and Cajun hospitality, though I don't have room for it here. Remind me to add it in the comments.

Traditional Louisiana cemetery. The water table is too high to allow underground burials.

We managed to find the folks' house. My mother-in-law kept in touch with the people that bought the place, and the gal told her we should have stopped in to say hello. Not something I am likely to do, but it fits with what I've experienced in the South.

It was well into the afternoon when we got through in Lafayette and Breaux Bridge, and it was time to start heading north. We had already taken two days to cover the 400 miles from Chancellor to Lafayette. At that rate we would be on the road for another three weeks with our planned stayovers, especially since we now had to cross Texas.

We stayed in Longview, Texas, outside of Dallas/Fort Worth, and hit the road in the morning, hoping to get through DFW and close to Oklahoma City though we didn't have an exact destination in mind. It would all depend on traffic, and how quickly we tired out.

All right, I said I would do this in a long post, but this is getting ridiculous. Watch for the next installment soon, as I catch you all up and share a small sample of the pictures we took. Believe me, there are HUNDREDS more than what I've posted!

Lessons From the Road

Fair warning: this narrative may ramble a bit, and there will be asides with tips and suggestions I gathered in the two months we were gone. Some are travel tips, some are life tips. And some are realizations that came from many weeks of being in my own company (and that of my husband) almost exclusively for more than two months. Some of these deserve deeper exploration; the personal lessons are ones I may have to sit with for a while, the travel and practical tips will be shared with you as they arise, and the creative ones will be explored in more depth in future columns.

One thing I realized as we traveled across the country: It is impossible to pack enough clean clothes to make a leisurely trip. You can pack heavy, or you can make a fast trip, but you can’t pack light and take your time. You are gonna have to wash those suckers at some point. 

When you’re home and have the luxury of your own washer and dryer, that seems perfectly reasonable. Your dirty clothes have a place they belong, and you likely don’t allow weeks worth of laundry to stack up before you tackle the chore of washing/drying/folding. 

But if you’re on the road, all that organization goes out the window (with luck not literally, though I have seen suitcases fall out of vehicles and spew their contents across the highway).

When we made our first cross-country road trip I tried an experiment. I pre-packaged each day’s clean clothes by placing shirts, socks, and underwear in mesh bags that would stack easily in a suitcase. Since we were only staying one night at each stop we could keep a couple day’s worth of clothes in a small suitcase, adding a bag or two to the “goes in every night” bag as needed. As a bonus we could place the day’s dirty clothes in the empty bag and stow it in the trunk. The “every night” bag had extra jeans and leggings, and we could go a week or so without having to haul all the suitcases out of the car. It definitely made loading and unloading easier.

But eventually there aren’t enough clean bags left and you have to do laundry. On this trip, when we were staying with family we were able to use their laundry, but even that failed us when the trip home ended up being just a couple days too long.

My best advice: Plan ahead. As travelers new to the leisurely pace of retirement travel we lucked out, but there were a couple glitches. Maybe I can help you avoid them. 

Doing laundry takes time. Even if you’re in a laundromat with multiple machines, it’s still going to take a couple hours to get everything washed, dried, and folded. Figure what day you need to do laundry, then plan that time into your day with a late start or early stop, or plan a stay-over-and-relax day that includes emptying and repacking suitcases and doing laundry.

While you’re at it, look for a hotel that has a guest laundry. Not a laundry service (unless you like paying $5.00 to have someone else wash a T-shirt), but an actual laundry. It will likely be small, so be prepared for the possibility you will have to wait, but plan for it. We were beyond lucky with the hotel in Gallup (La Quinta, more about them later-just know we were very happy). There was a small coin-operated laundry in the hotel, with three washers and two dryers, and it was empty when we arrived. Score!

In addition, hotel guest laundries are usually well-lit, well-maintained, closed to outside users, and you don’t have to leave the hotel.

You’ll need quarters for the machines. Yes, there’s probably a change machine - if it’s working - but stowing a roll of two in your suitcase ensures you’re prepared for an empty coin machine (and you still need cash for the coin machine). We got change from the front desk - I suspect they’re used to filling that request - but don’t count on it.

Get detergent ahead of time. This one got me. 

We arrived early in the evening, the machines were available, we scrounged up some quarters and got more from the desk, but we were in a highway location not near a store, and we didn’t have detergent. The hotel did, or course, in their small sundry area in the lobby, but we ended up paying a premium for a small bottle. Better to make a quick stop at a grocery or department store on your way to the hotel - especially if you’re already stopping for soda or snacks!

Still, having the suitcases full of clean clothes was like a security blanket. I could relax for at least another week or 10 days, knowing I wouldn’t have to wash my dirty socks in the hotel room sink. 

Or pay someone $5.00 plus tip to wash them for me.

We Are Home!

Tuesday, October 31

There is so much to tell about the trip back, and some creative inspiration which came from some pretty unexpected corners! But for now I am trying to accept that I'm not Supergirl and be content with having unpacked the suitcases and caught up the laundry (so much laundry!), and have a few groceries in the house.

There is a lot to unpack from this trip. The physical part is mostly done, the emotional part wil be a process, and the impact on our creative lives is something I will be exploring in the next few weeks. Being away, being unable to find the time and space to create, has left me with questionds, and an unease that deserves its own conversation.

But there will be pictures, I promise!

Family Time

Tuesday, October 10

The trip continues, with lots of family time and important conversations. But I will admit that it isn't all work and worry.

I only spent about an hour at the beach (including changing time before and after the water) but it was a marvelous release to paddle around in the Gulf. The day was about 80 and overcast, so the water wasn't its unual briliant blue, but I didn't care; for that one hour I was in  my happy place.

I hope to be back here with regular posts soon, and I thank you all for your patience while I am on this break.

This picture from 2021 is more what it looks like on a sunny day, and even then the camera can't really capture the amazing colors of the Gulf. We are fortunate to have a "native guide" to help us find a less-crowded public beach in the development-crowded Florida Gulf Coast.

Our Big Adventure

Sunday September 24

Sunday the 24th we got to check off a “bucket list” item for both of us. We went on the tour at Neutral Zone Studios in Kingsland, Georgia. It was spectacular, amazing, and we had a wonderful time. There will be pictures at the end of the post. This place is the result of the creativity and perseverance of a lot of people, and I was incredibly impressed with what they have accomplished.

But to understand what this meant for me - for us - we have to look back at how we got here.

My professional creative journey with writing started with Star Trek. It seems incredible to me to look back and realize that my first professional sale was twenty-five years ago - but it was!

In 1997 Simon and Schuster announced the Strange New Worlds writing contest. For the first time the publisher would accept submissions from beginning writers - those without professional credits - for fiction based in the Star Trek universe. That included me, and I was thrilled for the opportunity. Prior to this contest, most of these tie-in worlds were closed to writers who were not known to the editors. Unofficially, we understood that this was the chance to make ourselves known to the editors who were able to offer us writing jobs.

That first year I placed in the contest, and saw my first professionally published story appear in the anthology published in mid-1998. I was officially, finally, a Star Trek writer! (I also placed in the second year, and was the last one cut from the third year, when I disqualified myself by selling a novel.)

From there I got several opportunities to write for Star Trek, we got the chance to write Star Trek together, and it opened the door to many possibilities.

In many ways I truly owe my writing career (modest though it is) to Star Trek, its wonderful, welcoming, and supportive editors, and to taking a chance even when I didn’t think I was “good enough.”

I can only imagine what the founders of Neutral Zone felt when they took the chance to build their sets and create fan films. They were faced with huge challenges,not least of which was whether they could finance construction, and then generate operating funds for the future.

The enthusiasm of their volunteers, and their obvious love for what they are doing, came through clearly when we visited the studios. I am in awe of the energy and dedication that brought the studio to life, and the hard work that keeps it operating.

Thank you, Neutral Zone Studios, for a true celebration of creativity!

First stop on our tour - engineering!

Complete with warp core ...

and dilithium crystal!

We then moved into the corridors, to see the rest of the ship.

Bio-beds in sickbay, complete with monitors.

The transporter controls, with the pads in the background...

... and the three of us ready for our away mission. For photographic purposes, perhaps the shortest person shouldn't be standing in the back!

The Jeffries Tube, which we did not crawl through,

and a ladder, which I didn't climb. I would have much preferred  turbolift.

We each rook a turn at the science station, and I couldn't resist ...

Communications! (With thanks to the legendary Nichelle Nichols.) [I think I was at the right station - the heat was addling my brain.]

We thought we had come the farthest - and so did the staff - until this couple showed up. They were there to celebrate his 50th birthday - all the way from Italy!

A poignant tribute to Grant Imahara, who gave so much to Neutral Zone, and played the part of Lt. Sulu in some of the fan films made there.

We spent a couple hours in the studio and probably could have stayed even longer, but we had to let other people have a chance to have their own big adventure. But there was one last thing we had to do before we left ...

Because there was no way we could leave without taking a turn in the Big Chair!

Be Kind to Your Body

One of the indignities of aging is what it does to our bodies. Add to that the strain of any pursuit that involves repetitive movements, and you have a recipe for - if not disaster - chronic aches and pains.

Recently Modern Daily Knitting ran a column on stretches designed to avoid or alleviate the discomfort that sometines results from knitting.  I would expect that the same exercises would apply to most any creative pursuit that involves using your hands a lot, so I am passing it along.

Sray healthy, and keep creating!

No Road Report

Sunday, September 20

We are in Alabama, settled in with the in-laws and starting to tackle some little jobs. We know that some big ones are coming, though we don't know exactly what we will be doing, or in what order.

I am going to try and work on some fiction in the evenings, now that we are here. There will be updates as there is anything interesting to report (what 'til you see what we're up to on Sunday!), but not daily. Except maybe once we start back across the country. 

Thanks for coming along on the trip, and stay tuned for more from us - Steve, me, Dash and Chonk!