A while back a friend of mine shared something that was troubling them. Their only child, an otherwise level-headed and mature individual, refused to even discuss the disposition of my friend's intellectual property.
What is intellectual property? Simply put, it is the things you create, the output of your own intellect. It is not the physical product, but rather what comes from inside you - your stories, paintings, quilt designs, furniture designs, songs, recipes - the creative output of your imagination.
Somehow, this normally well-grounded adult child could discuss their parent's objects - houses, cars, collectible toys and books - but they could not talk about the parent's creations. They could joke about one day owning all the books or toys or computers, flippantly reminding the parent that one day "this will all be mine," but having a serious discussion about the parent's creations was impossible.
My children can look forward to "treasures" like these tiny robots.
The disposition of your intellectual property is a specific issue for the creative person, but my friend's concern pointed up a much larger issue: the inability to talk with those closest to us about truly important and distressing issues. On that list, end of life is #1 with a bullet.
It's easy to say you need to have these conversations. We already know how important they are; we've probably been through this with our own parents and in-laws. For most of us that conversation, if it happened at all, was painful and awkward.
Our parents were of a generation that considered talk of money to be right up there with sex: taboo. At the very least it was considered rude; if you had more than your friends and neighbors you didn't brag about it, if you had less you didn't whine about it.
What we made, what we spent, how we spent it, what we owed - all these things were ranked on a level with state secrets in many of our families when we were growing up.
We learned that lesson well. Think about it. How many of you know how much money your siblings - the people who are ideally your oldest and closest friends - earned or saved or have? How about your close friends? Do you have any idea of their net worth?
Now we are faced with talking to our own loved ones about things our parents and our society never taught us how to handle. It's going to be tough.
But as tough as that is, it's further complicated for creatives because of our creations, those product of our imaginations.
The legal ramifications of inheriting intellectual property are many and extremely complex. I strongly recommend you get advice from a trusted source - most likely an experienced intellectual property attorney - to deal with that side of the problem. It's a subject I can't adequately explain.
You can always choose to ignore this side of it. If you, and your heirs, do not care what is done with the things you create, feel free to dismiss the legal concerns. That is always an option.
If Erle Stanley Gardner hadn't talked with his heirs about his intellectual property every one of these best-selling stories could have been turned into a musical. In a submarine. Starring his most despised actor. See the Wikipedia entry for Gail Patrick for the story of how Perry Mason was finally brought to TV.
Just be aware that your creations will become the playground for whatever tomfoolery someone wants to create. Bill Watterson has famously refused to license the images of Calvin and Hobbes for any product. The decals of Calvin relieving himself on various objects? They're all done by people using his characters without permission, and he has chosen not to stop them with legal action. That was his choice; your mileage may vary. Remember that once that particular genie is out of the bottle it isn't easy to put it back in.
Beyond the strictly legal issues however is the problem of who will take care of your property after you are gone. Your creations are a part of who you are, and they will carry far more emotional significance than most of your possessions. They are a part you, well beyond the property you've acquired.
It is this emotional weight that makes it so much more difficult for our loved ones to deal with, and which make it so hard to talk about. Which is precisely why we must do it.
You might have the kind of relationship that allows you to sit down and have a rational conversation. If you do, you're well ahead of the game. But it's still going to take time. You will have a conversation, hit a sticking point, and table the discussion for a while.
That's fine. That's what happens.
But don't let that be the end of it.
Have another conversation. Get a few steps farther. Repeat the process.
Take the time to work through the conversations. They may be difficult, but the result of NOT having them are even worse.
It's going to take time. Time that we all hope to have. Even time we might want to devote to other things, but this is important.
What we are really talking about here is fostering an open and honest relationship with the loved ones (and perhaps professional advisors) who will care for our creations after we are gone.
As I said above, you can choose to walk away, to say that you don't care what happens once you aren't here to see it. That may be true, but you need to be damned sure it is, and that it's true for your heirs.
Having the conversation, in whatever form it takes, can help find the solution that works for you and for your loved ones. That solution will be different for every creative person, and for their heirs. But you have to be able to talk, and listen, to find your best solution.
That conversation may have the added effect of helping those around you to better understand your creative life, to understand what your creativity means to you, and how to honor and respect your creations.
Ultimately the choice is up to you. Only you can determine how you want your creations handled, and who you trust to honor your wishes. Making those choices takes open and honest communication.
It's never too late (or too soon) to begin that process. Start now, with baby steps if you must. Build trust and transparency. Be clear about what you want and who you want involved. Don't assume, communicate.
In the end you, and your heirs, will be glad you had the hard conversations.