You better sit down, we need to talk. There is a problem here and it might be a bit embarrassing for all us grown-ups to admit.
See, for years now (maybe even decades) we have been the experts. We've been that person, the one that knows where everything is, how to work around the usual problems, how to get stuff done. In short, we've been the smartest guy in the room.
The people here really are the smartest guys in the room!
And we like that.
We like knowing what we're doing. We like knowing what to do and how to do it. We like ('fess up, we do) the accolades and atta-boys that come from doing a job and doing it well. We like the egoboo that comes from knowing that we did a good job.
Sure pride is a "sin," but I would argue that false pride is the real sin, along with the tendency to discount or downplay our own accomplishments. I mean, how many times have you told someone they did an exceptional job and had them shrug off the acknowledgement?
(While I'm at it, do you realize what you do with that behavior? You tell the person giving the compliment that their opinion of you and your work isn't important. That it doesn't matter. Stop that! Learn to say thank you, acknowledge the compliment as well-intentioned, and move on. Yes, I am really bad at this. Yes, I am trying to improve.)
So here's the problem with all of this. We are trying something new. We are devoting time and energy and resources to it, and we are investing something of ourselves is creating our art, whatever it is.
We are always going to make mistakes, sometimes big ones. I decided I should be ready with a really big eraser!
We are newbies, and we are not going to be the smartest guy in the room.
This can be a tough pill to swallow. We are used to being accomplished and successful; we aren't used to failing. Oh sure, we had some failures along the way, but generally by the time we reach retirement we have figured out how to be successful is some way. We may not reach the heights we dreamed of when we were younger - I was going to be the first woman on the Supreme Court when I was fifteen, but the friend who promised to appoint me never got elected, and I never went to law school - but we have had successes and we have accomplished things along the way.
But now we are faced with that scary possibility - failure. Or at least not being the best at what we want to do. It's a daunting thought, and it is a very real possibility.
How can I be so sure about this? Personal experience. I've been writing for publication for more than twenty years; my first professional story was published in July, 1998. I was proud of that story, and of the dozen-plus novels and scores of short stories and articles that followed. Were they as great as I thought they were at the time?
This was my very first professional publication. Hard to believe it was nearly 23 years ago. I'm still happy with the story, and thrilled it got selected for publication. Is it perfect? Not even!
Oh. My. God. No. I blush at some of the things I wrote that people paid for. They were good enough to publish, but now I know they could have been better. I produced professional-quality books and stories and editors paid me money for them. But deep in my heart I knew I wasn't the best; I was good, but I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, not by a long shot, and I might never be.
Does that mean I shouldn't try? If I can't be the best, why waste my time? Absolutely not, unless being the best is the only reason you're doing this in the first place. But if it isn't, if the doing is as important (or more important) as the succeeding, then you should absolutely do the thing you want to do.
So what if your first cabinet has an off-kilter door? The next one will be better, and you had fun learning how to put that door on in the first place. Your quilt has uneven stitches and the colors didn't combine exactly as you expected? It will still be comforting on a cold night, and you'll come closer to your vision on the next one. Story took a left turn five pages in and ended up somewhere you didn't expect? It happens. Take pleasure in the writing and enjoy the surprise of where you ended up. The piece of pottery that was meant to be a bowl got lop-sided? Pinch a spout in the side, turn it into a pitcher, and make a bowl the next time.
It has been a long time since I played in wet clay, but looking at photos of potters at work reminds me just how much fun I had doing it. Maybe I should go see if there's a studio around where I could do some work.
Remember what I said about joy? Find the joy of discovering new ways to make your art, revel in learning, experimenting, doing. When making brings you pleasure and enjoyment you don't have to be the smartest guy in the room.
Just be the happiest.