You Are Not Your Creations
Another topic inspired by The Oatmeal, and one that we* have talked about a lot over the years. It is (I suspect) a universal experience.
As creators we are our own worst critics.
You all know the feeling - you finish a project (or worse yet, get partway through a project) and immediately see a myriad of flaws. If you’re writing a story you instantly see everything from a typo or misspelling to a complete lack of narrative sense. Or the colors in your painting are completely wrong. Or the joints of your current furniture piece are misaligned. Or your photo is out of focus.
I don't think this marquee was a mistake at all. I am sure it was very deliberate, though I wish I could go back and get a good picture of it. But I will still share it with you, even if it is blurry, because it made me chuckle.
The problem comes when we stop being critical of the piece (“I need to rewrite that sentence,” or “That cake needs another five minutes in the oven”) and start being critical of ourselves.
As I have talked about before, we have to be compassionate with ourselves for our mistakes, and especially so when we are trying something new, when we are stretching beyond the familiar and comfortable boundaries we’ve set.
You cannot be perfect the first time you try something. You wouldn’t expect to get off the couch and immediately run a four-minute mile, why do you expect yourself to sculpt the Pieta the first time you pick up a chisel?
Yet this often is what we expect of ourselves, and when that creation isn’t perfect we turn that criticism on ourselves.
Not perfect - if they were they would be completely consistent in color - but they were still tasty. And I can always make another batch!
This is a difficult lesson to learn, and in some ways it is made more difficult by age and experience.
Over the years we have gained some competence in whatever our careers were/are, and the feeling of incompetence is strange and uncomfortable.
We don’t like feeling that way, and there is the temptation to judge ourselves, as well as our work. The judgment can lead to self-loathing, and it can lead to the kind of despair that causes us to quit creating. And when we quit creating we lose something precious.
We must learn to separate ourselves from our creations, to recognize that, while we put something of ourselves into each thing we create, we are not our creations. Because that way lies the destruction of our creative lives.
You aren't the only one who has the occasional failure. That eraser was definitely NOT fitting on the end of my pencil!
It’s normal to want to improve what we do. Most of us want to create something better, more appealing, more nearly-perfect. That takes time, practice, and patience.
Strive to do better next time. Aim for the stars, but be proud of the fact you reached the moon - or even the next town over. Savor the joy of creating, and give yourself the gift of time and space to grow in your creative life.
You wouldn’t expect perfection of others, so why expect it of yourself?
(*”We” being my creative family - the writers, artists, musicians, etc. who have become friends and fellow travelers on the road to creativity.)